Jeller on the Rocks
by lshd
Summary: What happens when Jane realizes that sometimes love is not enough?
1. Chapter 1

I don't own Blindspot or any of these amazing characters…

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Okay…here is a third version of why she left….I need to know in the worst possible way! Why is this premier soooo far away?

A little bit of angst…Sorry. I've been grumpy…

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Jane looked at Kurt in stunned surprised.

"What?" She asked her voice almost too low to for him to hear.

"You let Roman go…" Kurt accused her.

Jane heard a rushing in her ears at that accusation. She _had_ let Roman walk away…this _was_ her fault _._

"Kurt," Sarah looked at him in consternation.

Jane looked around the waiting room. Kurt, Allie, Connor and Sarah looked away from where the two of them were standing.

Allie and Connor's home had been targeted. There had been an explosion and although nobody had died, Kurt and Allie's daughter was in the hospital for observation.

She'd almost died…all because Jane had let Roman walk away.

She wanted to protest…she couldn't have known this was going to happen, but none of that mattered now. It _had_ happened.

Jane took several deep breaths and turned away from the people looking at her so accusingly.

"I'll go back to the hotel," She offered softly.

"Maybe you should go back to New York," Kurt suggested bluntly.

It was then that Jane realized this dream she'd been living was going up in smoke. She'd always been wary of it in the back of her mind. It had been too good to be true…and it turned out it was.

She didn't say anything. She just turned and walked away. She couldn't even blame him. He'd taken a huge risk on her and was paying the price.

She was crying by the time she reached the front entrance.

She called a taxi and didn't go back to the hotel at all. She directed it to go to the airport. When she arrived she was just in time to board a flight out.

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"Kurt," Sarah worried once Jane had gone.

"She _let_ him go," Kurt insisted.

"She loves her too…" Sarah argued, "She couldn't know this would happen."

Kurt didn't say anything, but stubbornly moved over and sat down.

Allie watched on silently. She knew he wasn't being fair, but she didn't care. Her daughter had almost died…she always knew that Jane couldn't be trusted.

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Once the plane landed in New York, Jane didn't waste any time. She went back to their apartment and began ridding it of her presence. She threw some clothes in a bag and took all the pictures and mementos they'd amassed and boxed them all up to put them in basement storage. All but one…that one she placed in her case. She then contacted a divorce attorney and had him draw up a contract that gave up all her rights to Kurt and anything he had. She signed it and left it on the kitchen counter with the ring he'd given her not so long ago. It was done.

She knew she needed to find Roman and stop him. That was her only goal now.

Taking a deep breath and a last look around, she turned and walked out. Her key on the counter ensured that once the door closed, she couldn't turn back. Walking away she refused to cry. This was inevitable from the very beginning. This life wasn't for her…she couldn't have it.

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"We caught the person responsible," Kurt was advised two days later.

"You caught Roman?" Kurt was stunned. Roman hadn't seemed like he would be so easily taken.

Allie and Connor listened on in silent relief.

"Who's Roman?" The Agent in charge of the Denver field office asked in confusion.

"My wife's brother," Weller explained patiently. He'd already given them this information.

"No," The Agent denied, "We caught a John Bower and his cousin Ed. They still had the components used to make the explosive device on them."

"John Bower?" Allie demanded with a sinking sensation.

"You know them?" The Agent verified.

"The Marshall's office arrested their Father six months ago," Allie admitted.

Looking down at the report the Agent corrected her, "You arrested him."

"I was part of the team, yes," Allie admitted.

"Well," The FBI Agent advised, "They apparently held you personally responsible and decided to target your family in retaliation."

Kurt heard the words that the Agent was saying, but all her could see was the look on Jane's face when he'd accused her of letting Roman go. He'd assumed that it was Roman…he'd been wrong.

"Thank you," Allie told the Agent, looking over at Kurt in concern.

"We blamed her for something she had nothing to do with," Sarah realized in shock.

"It was easy to blame her," Connor admitted, "After everything Kurt's told us about her…it was the most logical assumption."

But it hadn't been, Kurt wanted to protest. Allie had called him when it happened and accused Roman and he'd never even considered that it could be anyone else. That was on him.

"We need to call Jane," Sarah insisted, "When did she get home?"

Kurt couldn't answer her. He hadn't even called to check to make sure she got back okay…

"I'll call her," Kurt said reaching for his phone.

He tried the apartment first, when the answering machine kicked on, he hung up. He then tried her cell phone, when that went straight to voice mail, he hung up in frustration. Where was she?

He called Patterson.

"Hey, how's the little angel?" Patterson answered immediately.

"She'd fine. She was released this morning." Kurt assured her, "I'm trying to get in touch with Jane…"

"Isn't she with you?" Patterson asked in confusion.

"I sent her home," Kurt admitted.

"Why?" Patterson didn't get it.

"I thought Roman was responsible for the explosion," Kurt admitted.

"You _blamed Jane?"_ Patterson all but gasped.

"She's not answering the phone," Kurt explained, not responding to her question.

"She wouldn't not answer," Patterson worried, "She'd want to make sure everything was okay…"

Just then Hirst walked in and stood waiting.

"Hold on," Patterson told Kurt.

"What's up?" She asked the Director.

"I need you to remove Jane Weller from the security data base." Hirst said calmly.

"Why?" Patterson had a sinking feeling.

"She called me this morning and advised me that she wasn't coming back." Hirst explained.

"Did she say why?" Patterson wanted to throw up.

"She said that Kurt told her to go." Hirst explained, "You'll have to get any further information from Weller."

"I'll get right on it," Patterson agreed.

Watching Hirst leave Patterson forgot for a moment that Weller was waiting.

"Kurt," She finally picked back up the phone.

"Did you find her?" Kurt demanded.

"No," Patterson denied, "Hirst just advised me to remove Jane from the security system. She called her this morning and told her she wasn't coming back."

"Check her phone," Kurt demanded with a clenched jaw.

Patterson pulled it up and warned him. "It's turned off."

"Turn it back on," Kurt urged her.

She did.

"It's at your apartment," Patterson told him, looking at the camera "…but something's different."

"What?" Kurt demanded.

Patterson studied the odd angle of the camera before she realized what it was. "Her things are gone," She finally realized.

"What do you mean?" Kurt worried.

"Remember those pillows she was so excited to find at the market?" Patterson reminded him, "They're gone and the rug from the hall…it's gone."

"But her phone is still there?" Kurt verified.

"Yes," Patterson agreed.

"Send Reade over to see if he can stop her before she leaves." Kurt implored, desperation setting in.

"I will," Patterson assured him, hanging up with a troubled frown.

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Kurt hung up the phone and hated himself. He'd turned on her and all she'd been trying to do was support him. He knew how much she loved his daughter. Even if Roman had been responsible, it was unfair to blame Jane. She wasn't responsible for Roman's actions any more than he was. He closed his eyes when he realized just what he'd done.

"Did you get her?" Sarah asked from the doorway.

Kurt opened his eyes and the heartbreak in his face had her moving over to his side and sitting down.

"She's angry," Sarah placed her hand on his leg in understanding.

"She's hurt," Kurt denied harshly, "She left."

"You told her to go," Sarah reminded him.

"She's not at the apartment, she left me." Kurt explained.

Sarah gasped at that, she knew just how much Jane loved Kurt. It had been the one thing that convinced her to give the other woman another chance.

"Oh…Kurt," Sarah worried, squeezing his leg in reassurance, "She'll be back. She loves you more than anything."

She had loved him like that…and he'd turned his back on her. How could she ever forgive him?

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It was only when Jane was outside the building that she realized she didn't have any place to go.

Her indecision cost her and while she was deciding a van pulled up on the street beside her. When it pulled away…she was gone.

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Reade looked down at the paperwork sitting on the bar along with the ring and rubbed his hand over his face in frustration. _How had this happened?_ Weller and Jane had been two of the happiest married people he'd ever seen…hell they had almost convinced him marriage wasn't the train wreck he believed it to be only for this to happen.

He reached for his phone and dialed Weller.

"You get her?" Weller asked after the first ring.

"She's gone…"Reade hesitated.

"What?" Kurt knew something was wrong.

"She left you something…" Reade said still struggling.

"A note?" Kurt asked.

"Her wedding ring," Reade forced himself to admit, "She also signed some paperwork."

"What paperwork?" Kurt asked in confusion, still stunned that she'd taken off her ring.

"Divorce papers…she signed away all of her rights," Reade admitted.

Kurt felt that disclosure like and ax to the chest.

"Did she leave anything else?" Kurt demanded, hoping she would have told him where she was going.

"Just the key." Reade denied.

"I'm on my way back," Kurt assured him, "Find her."

"We'll do our best," Reade agreed, "But it's Jane…"

"FIND HER," Kurt hung up the phone.

Reade knew that was going to easier said than done…

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Kurt arrived back, but there were no leads on Jane.

"She can't have just disappeared," Kurt insisted in frustration.

Patterson walked into the lab with a worried frown.

"What?" Reade worried reading her expression.

"I found this…" Patterson typed some things into the computer and they watched as Jane exited their building.

Kurt's hand clenched as he watched her hesitated on the street. She looked so lost… Suddenly she turned and started to walk away. A van pulled up and blocked their view of her and when it pulled away again…she was gone.

"Did she go willingly?" Reade demanded.

"I don't know," Patterson admitted, "I've canvassed all the cameras in the area and none of them show whether she got inside the van on her own or not."

"We have to find that van," Kurt insisted.

"We're looking," Patterson assured him.

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Kurt opened the door to their apartment many frustrating hours later. The empty echo of the door closing behind him was loud in the utter silence.

He walked inside and all the things that they'd collected were gone. She wouldn't have bothered to take her things…if she hadn't decided to stay in the area. Kurt thought hopefully.

He walked into the kitchen and looked down at the ring on the counter. He picked it up with a trembling hand and closed his fist around it. How could he have messed up this badly? He looked down at the paper with her signature across the bottom and picked it up. She'd given up all her rights. She didn't want anything from him, but then he'd known that. She'd always only wanted him. How could he have accused her like that? Looking around the apartment he noticed just how devoid of life it had become without her there. It wasn't just the colorful pillows and rugs that made it so dark. It was the lack of light that Jane was able to bring into his life that was missing. He wanted her back…if he could just explain…the unexplainable.

His phone rang and he reached for it desperately. With hope he answered only to find the building's management. He frowned when he was advised that the door to his storage facility in the basement was found ajar and they needed him to come down and verify that nothing was taken.

He left the apartment and headed downstairs. What could Jane have possibly wanted in the basement? She hadn't put any of her things down here when she moved in, because she hadn't had anything…

He met the manager and when he pulled open the door he froze. There were several new boxes sitting there and he moved over to them with a troubled frown. When he opened the lid he realized that all the missing things that he and Jane had selected together, along with the pictures of them, had been moved down here. She hadn't taken anything…

Picking up a photo of them smiling at their wedding he felt his heart race and his stomach sink…he knew this meant she was gone. He knew it was his fault…


	2. Chapter 2

I don't own Blindspot or any of these amazing characters…

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Jane didn't know how long she was held…time lost all meaning. Days blurred. Then one day she woke up and the door to her cell was open. She climbed unsteadily to her feet and walked toward it cautiously. Nobody was there…in fact the entire facility was empty.

She now faced a choice. She could turn back to her family for help or she could go it alone. She knew there was really no choice left… she would have to go it alone…

Sinking down she took a moment to steady herself as she waited. There was no hurry now, no place she needed to be and nobody was looking for her.

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" _Where is she?"_ Kurt was beyond desperate. It had been months and they were not even one step closer to finding out what happened to Jane when she left their apartment. There were no records of her anywhere. She hadn't been caught on surveillance cameras, no tickets purchased, no sightings…nothing. It was like she had disappeared from the face of the Earth.

"It's Jane," Reade reminded him, "If she doesn't want us to find her, we won't."

"We don't even know if _she's_ the one that's avoiding us. For all we know whoever was in that van…took her." Patterson insisted.

"Do you think she contacted Roman?" Tasha asked quietly.

Everyone's eyes turned to her.

"What?" Kurt demanded incredulously.

"She might have known how to contact him all along," Tasha insisted.

"Absolutely not," Kurt was certain. If he'd had a clear head after the attack at Allie's he would never have thought otherwise.

"Kurt even you thought…" Tasha began.

"I wasn't thinking," Kurt argued, "I'd been up over twenty-four hours. We'd been waiting for confirmation that everything was okay, I was out of line."

"Subconsciously you must have thought it could be true," Tasha argued.

"That's enough," Reade insisted.

"I trust Jane, more than I trust any other person," Kurt said bluntly.

"Even after everything?" Tasha demanded.

"Yes," Kurt insisted, with absolute certainty.

Little did he know it, but those words would drive Tasha right to the CIA.

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Kurt looked at the liquid in his drink. He sat on their couch, in their apartment, his ring on his finger, hers in a chain around his neck and he missed her.

The same day he'd found their things stored away, he'd moved them back up to their apartment. They'd initially given him comfort, but now they seemed to taunt him with everything he'd thrown away.

Tasha left to work with the CIA and Reade and Patterson blamed him. He didn't give a damn. Two days ago they'd received a tip on where Jane was. They'd raided the warehouse and found her holding cell, but not Jane. The evidence that shown beyond doubt that she might have left of her own free will, but she'd been kept prisoner for months after that was sobering. Ironically enough after that he'd been anything _but_ sober.

There was a knock on his door and he turned toward it without getting up. He didn't want to see anyone…that was a lie, he desperately wanted to see one person, but she wasn't standing out there. He didn't even need to get up to look. Taking another drink, he closed his eyes and leaned his head back on the couch.

When the door opened of its own violation, he looked over at it in surprise.

Patterson and Reade came in, but he didn't say anything to them, just took another drink.

"You can't keep doing this," Patterson implored.

Kurt ignored her.

The door opened again and Kurt looked over with wasted hope. Tasha came in.

"Have you been able to talk any sense into him?" Tasha demanded.

"Does it look like it?" Reade threw out his hand in frustration at how Kurt remained sprawled on the sofa.

Tasha came over and sat down next to him.

"You're not going to find her like this," Tasha insisted.

"What do you care?" Kurt asked bluntly, "You left us to look without you…go back to the CIA, we don't need you."

Tasha realized then that her abandonment of them hadn't helped.

"I'm using CIA resource to search," Tasha insisted.

"Any luck?" Kurt demanded already knowing the answer.

"No," Tasha was forced to admit.

"I contacted someone," Patterson said taking her own seat.

"Who?" Kurt asked looking back down into his glass.

"I called Nas," Patterson admitted.

Kurt looked up at her in surprise.

"Did she…" He was against Omaha, but he was so desperate right now, he didn't care how they found her.

"No," Patterson denied, "She's going to see what she can find, but at least it's something."

The team spent the evening with him. They didn't talk a lot, but they kept watch over him. Never had he need them so much.

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Now they were all gone. Kurt realized looking down at the box that had Jane's name stamped across it.

They'd tried everything…the box wouldn't give up its secrets.

His office door opened and he looked up to see a familiar face.

"Nas," He greeted, not standing.

"Kurt," She looked down at him in concern. He was rough looking, mused and thinner, clearly a man on the edge.

"I heard about the team," She walked over and placed a gentle hand on his shoulder.

"Have you had a lead on what might have happened to them?" Kurt looked up at her in question.

"No," Nas denied, "But I was able to find something."

"What?" Kurt waited in puzzlement.

Nas placed photo on the desk in front of him. It was a picture someone had taken on vacation. They were climbing up the side of the cliff, but in the background there was another climber. Kurt sat up straight and grabbed the photo. It was Jane. The image was grainy and out of focus, but he'd know her anywhere….

"It's Jane," Kurt whispered in shock, his heart threatening to burst out of his chest.

"We haven't been able to confirm it through facial recognition," Nas warned him, "The image isn't clear enough…"

"It's her," Kurt was certain, "Where is this?"

"Nepal," Nas explained.

Kurt immediately stood up and grabbed his wrinkled jacket.

"You're going?" Nas confirmed.

"Of course," Kurt said immediately.

"I already instructed the plane be made ready," Nas assured him, "You just need your passport."  
No, Kurt realized, he needed his passport and some reason to convince her to come back. Reaching for the box that had been left for her, he knew he now had everything he needed. He was going and he wasn't coming back without her…

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Jane looked up at Kurt in shock. The last person she'd ever expect to see again stood in front of her looking back at her with every bit of the shock she felt on his face. She couldn't understand his surprise, when he'd clearly come here knowing where to find her.

No conscious thought carried her to his arms. She closed her eyes when she felt the familiar embrace that she'd missed so much. It was only when he pushed her away that she came back to her senses. He'd come to find her, but it wasn't for the reason she'd been hoping for, that was becoming more than apparent.

"You need to come back," He looked away from her and she shook her head in confusion. She couldn't be around him…it was too hard.

Kurt had never been so close to losing his composure as he was at that moment. He'd needed to look away from her before he burst into relieved tears. She was safe and alive…right in front of him. His emotions were all over the place. He wanted to stare at her, but he needed to look away to regain his composure. He wanted to never let her go, but he forced himself to push her away so he didn't crush her. He wanted to yell at her for leaving him, but he wanted to apologize for making her think she had to go.

"I was scared," He admitted without thought…he still was.

"I'm sorry…I can explain," Jane hastened to assure him. Then she realized she really couldn't. She hadn't meant to simply leave without a trace, but end the end that's exactly what happened.

Jane looked away from Kurt, her eyes filling with tears. Her gaze was caught by his wedding ring and she froze.

"You're still wearing your ring," She said in surprise. She didn't know if she was relieved or heartbroken.

"Yeah," Kurt looked down and twisted it nervously. He'd never signed the divorce paperwork. They were still married, but he wasn't eager to admit it. She'd left for a reason and they needed to address that first.

Taking a deep breath he told her, "You need to come back."

He knew she would never turn her back on the team. He had everything he needed to keep her with him. That would give him the time he needed to win her back.

Jane was already shaking her head no…because nothing had really changed. She was still the same person, with the same problems, insurmountable problems.

"I can't…" She whispered.

"Patterson, Reade, Tasha…they're missing. We think they've been kidnapped." Kurt insisted.

"All of them?" Jane demanded…"Do you think Roman…"

"We don't know," Kurt denied immediately. He wasn't making that mistake again. "Whoever took them…left this."

Jane looked down at the box with her name on it and everything became clear. Kurt hadn't found her because he missed her and wanted her back. He'd had no choice. Any lingering dreams she had died right then.

"Nobody's been able to open it yet," Kurt was looking down at her intently, "Somebody clearly wants your attention. I have a theory…"

Just as he knew she would, Jane nodded and reached for the box. She would never turn her back on the team when they needed her. The second her hand touched the box, a side drawer opened.

Her startled gaze flew up to meet his. At least that hadn't changed, she still looked to him when she was frightened or facing the unknown. He watched her pick up the metal object and looked down at it with her.

"What's this?" She asked in confusion.

Reaching for it he was startled when the mirror image of her bird tattoo appeared once they were both touching it.

"It needs both of us for it to work," Jane whispered.

 _So did his heart…_

Kurt took it and looked at Jane's neck. He'd always been good at puzzles. He lifted the disk up and aligned it with her neck tattoo. When her arms began to glow he looked down in shock. His eyes jerked back up to hers and he met her fearful look with one of concern.

"What's happening?"

What happened to her when she was in captivity became suddenly apparent. He just worried about what else might have happened…

He took the key away from her neck and set it and the box down. Turning back to her he pulled her back into his arms and ran a hand up and down her back to sooth her.

"It's okay," Kurt insisted, "We'll figure this out."

Jane lay stiffly against him. He'd caught her by surprise before, but she knew she couldn't give in to the longing she felt. He'd come here not to get her because he wanted to, but because he had to. She couldn't afford to forget that.

Kurt felt the stiff way she was holding herself, but he couldn't have let go to save his life. He'd been afraid he'd never have this chance again and he wasn't wasting it.

"How long were you held captive?" Kurt worried.

"I…I don't know," Jane admitted. Time had lost all meaning the second she walked out their apartment door.

"How long have I been gone?" Jane asked him.

Kurt became even more concerned. If she didn't know about the tattoos and she didn't know how long she'd been gone…what did that mean?

"Four months," Kurt explained looking down into her face to gauge her reaction.

"It seemed longer," She said absently.

"How long have you been here?" Kurt asked her without commenting on her words. It had been a lifetime ago, or so it felt to him.

"I…"Jane didn't know how long she'd been here either, "I've climbed the mountain over thirty times…so just over a month?"

"You've…climbed the mountain?" Kurt remembered the imposing sheer face from his trek in.

"Yeah," Jane pulled away slightly.

He didn't release her, but did give her some space. He wanted to see her face while they spoke.

"Who's your climbing partner, where do you keep your gear?" Kurt asked in concern.

"I don't have a partner or any gear." Jane denied.

"You free climbed?" Kurt felt sick.

"Yes," Jane agreed.

He closed his eyes, grateful that he hadn't been aware of what she was doing.

"I can see you didn't know about the new tattoos," Kurt worried, "Do you remember anything from you captivity?"

"I remember getting out." Jane admitted, "Otherwise…no."

"So you were held for months," Kurt worried, "And you don't remember _anything_?"

"I remember being restrained…" Jane said with a blank look, "pain…"

Kurt pulled her back against him at that admission.

"We need to head back," Kurt worried, determined to get her to a doctor as soon as possible.

"It's getting dark," Jane worried, "Maybe we should leave in the morning, it's a long way out."

Kurt knew she was right…but he wanted her back in New York with him… _now_.

"I didn't bring a tent." Kurt told her.

"There's plenty of room in here," Jane assured him, "You can stay with me."

Kurt's arms tightened around her and his eyes flew to the single cot. He knew it wasn't what she meant, but his body reacted all the same. He'd been without her too long. He let her go and stepped back so she wouldn't become uncomfortable about his inappropriate response.

"Thanks," He told her looking away again. She knew him too well and could probably read his struggle.

That might have been true if Jane had trusted herself to look directly at Kurt, but she didn't.

"How's your daughter?" Jane worried finally.

"She's fine," Kurt assured her, "It wasn't Roman."

"What?" Jane's eyes flew back to his.

"It was someone trying to get revenge on Allie for arresting their Father." Kurt admitted, watching her closely.

Jane's eyes closed and she turned away. So Roman hadn't sabotaged her relationship with Kurt…they had done that themselves.

"They caught them?" Jane tried to keep her voice level.

"Yeah," Kurt confirmed, "Jane…"

"Don't," Jane whispered. She couldn't take his regret now, just like she couldn't take his accusations before. Nothing had really changed.

"I'm sorry," Kurt had to say it. He'd never regretted anything more…accept when he had arrested her…and let the CIA take her. Not to mention getting Allie pregnant and falling into bed with Nas. When it came to Jane, his common sense seemed to take a hike. He'd never handled anything worse and never had anything mattered more. He couldn't image why she'd once loved him…and he couldn't imagine ever not being completely in love with her.

"I understand," Jane assured him. "I'll go get us some food."

He watched her leave with a pained expression. Briefly he worried that she might leave him again, but he knew as long as they needed her, she'd be there for them. Looking around the…tent?...he walked over to the cot and sat down wearily. Next to him sat her journal and he looked at it silently. She'd let him look before…he justified even as he reached for it now.

He started at the beginning and the images were dark and confused. He could see her panic reaching out from the pages and his heart sped up as he continued to leaf through them.

After the darkness he started to see that she was trying to conquer her fear and she'd begun to draw sights from the village. Little girls playing, the monks that he'd encountered along the way.

He turned the page over halfway from the beginning and he was confronted with his own face. Not a single likeness, but hundreds of them. Every expression was represented. Laughter, sorrow, anger, joy, love, loss, distrust…everything. She'd drawn picture after picture of him. He knew he was out of line, but he continued to flip through the pages. She'd drawn his daughter next. She'd captured her sweet little expression perfectly. She'd grown some since Jane had seen her and that only made him feel worse. She should have been there to see it, instead of locked in the past.

He turned back to the page she'd been working on and laid it back down. He rested his head against the canopy and closed his eyes. He hadn't slept well since Jane disappeared. The shirt she slept in was lying underneath her pillow and he pulled it out and lifted it to his face. Breathing her in, he felt contentment fill him. He knew he had a long way to go to win her back, but she was alive and he could hold her and touch her…it was enough…for now.

Jane came back into the tent with some bread and water to find Kurt sleeping on her cot. His head hanging limply as he sat on the blanket. The food was immediately forgotten. She hadn't been able to study him when he came in, but now she had all the time in the world and she took her time. He was clearly exhausted, but worry over the team and the long trek to get her had taken their toll.

She didn't wake him but instead guided him down to the pillow and covered him with her blanket.

He caught her hand with his and Jane glanced up expecting him to be awake, but he wasn't. His grip was firm and she didn't try to extract herself and wake him in the process. She simply sank down next to the cot and rested her head against the side. His warmth was soothing her while his scent was lulling her to sleep. Exactly when she succumbed she could have said, but the nightmares that plagued her were finally held at bay.


	3. Chapter 3

I don't own Blindspot or any of these amazing characters…

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Kurt woke up with a smile on his face. He had his arms full of Jane, one hand resting low on her abdomen. Her hair tickled his chin. He nuzzled her like he had so many times before. She smelled wonderful.

Between one heartbeat and the next it all came back to him. His eyes snapped open and he looked down in confusion at where she slept next to him so heavily. He'd fallen asleep he realized. He'd woken up in the middle of the night to find her sleeping on the floor next to him, his hand clutching hers tightly. She'd looked beautiful, but uncomfortable. He'd been unable to resist pulling her up beside him.

Once he had her in his arms, he'd lay there savoring the feel of her against him. He needed this so badly he was willing to steal the moment. If she hadn't snuggled into him he might have felt guilty. His body had been on fire, but he hadn't even cared. There were different kinds of satisfaction and the one he needed most wasn't physical. Well…it wasn't only physical.

He knew he needed to move his hand. He'd slipped it underneath her clothes and it was resting intimately against her abdomen. He didn't want to embarrass her or in any way hurt her. He began to pull his hand free. She moved against him restlessly.

"Kurt," She whispered turning her head to rest more fully against him.

He froze at that telling reaction. In her sleep she wanted him as much as he wanted her. His eyes closed in relief. She might not love him after what he'd done, but she still wanted him. He could work with that.

It was with regret that he pulled his hand free from her clothing. He didn't release her though. He knew they needed to get going, so much was at stake, but he didn't want to move. If he could have he would have stayed like this forever.

Ten blissful minutes later he forced himself to wake her.

"Jane," Kurt rubbed his face against her hair.

She moaned softly, but didn't waken. He'd been exhausted, but she clearly was as well.

"Jane," He shook her gently.

She opened her eyes and he looked down at her sleepy expression. She smiled up at him before she realized it was real.

He couldn't resist, leaning down he kissed her gently.

"We need to go," He reluctantly reminded her.

She seemed to come back to herself and her face flushed and she looked away.

"Sorry," She muttered pulling away and standing up.

"I was the one that pulled you up off the floor," Kurt admitted.

"You did?" Jane was surprised. She didn't know what she'd expected, but it wasn't for him to still treat her like she had value. Like he still cared…

"Yeah," He admitted standing up to join her.

They spent little time gathering their things and then they were ready.

Kurt watched while Jane said goodbye to the villagers. They seemed genuinely sad that she was leaving, he wasn't surprised. He knew the feeling too well.

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Roman watched Jane and Weller leaving the village and his heart was racing. He'd thought…he'd thought she was dead.

He didn't know what was going on, but now that he knew his sister was alive, he was determined to find out. He couldn't imagine what had caused her to disappear, but he wouldn't give up until he knew.

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Kurt was watching Jane sleep. The plane was landing in Italy so that he could get a doctor to check her out. She'd lost some weight he noticed and she was clearly exhausted. She was _asleep_ during flight which only highlighted just how tired she was. When they'd taken off, she'd exhibited the same fear she always did when they traveled. He hadn't made a big deal out of it because he knew it would make her uncomfortable, he'd simply reached over and took her hand. She'd clutched his back tightly. She'd fallen asleep still holding it and he'd done nothing to change that.

As they went in for a landing, Kurt considered waking her…but decided against it. If she could avoid the anxiety of landing, it would only benefit her. The fact that she might pull her hand free if he woke her played no role in his decision.

The gentle bump of the plane meeting the tarmac was what finally woke her. She shifted in her seat and then her hand firmed within his. She opened her eyes and met his gaze. Blinking several times in confusion, she pulled her hand free.

"Sorry," She blushed.

"No problem," Kurt assured her.

"Where are we?" Jane looked out the window in confusion.

"Italy," Kurt explained.

"Why?" Jane asked in puzzlement.

"We're going to refuel," Kurt explained, "But I also want you to see a doctor."

"I'm fine," She immediately dismissed.

"Probably," Kurt agreed easily, "But it doesn't hurt to make sure."

"You're not going to tell him about the tattoos?" Jane worried.

"No," Kurt denied, He knew that question would have to wait for an FBI doctor, but it would be asked.

"Kurt…" Jane insisted, "It's been months, what could the doctor possibly find?"

"Humor me," He wasn't going to argue and he wouldn't be swayed.

Jane knew Weller's stubborn nature better than anyone. She let out a silent sigh when she realized just how determined he was.

Looking at him she finally relented, "You've lost some weight too. Maybe you should get checked."

"That's because all of my calories recently have come from a bottle," Kurt told her unbuckling his seatbelt.

"What?" Jane looked over at him in alarm.

"Don't worry about it," Kurt insisted standing.

"No," Jane denied, "What are you talking about?"

"Having a missing wife is a very traumatic experience," Kurt said dryly, "Makes a man want to forget."

"Kurt…" Jane worried.

"I'm fine," Kurt regretted his words immediately. She was looking at him with such heartbreak.

"Are you okay?" Jane worried.

"Don't worry," Kurt assured her, "Before the team disappeared they were very determined to keep me sane. After they were taken, I didn't have time to indulge in forgetting."

"I'm sorry," Jane hadn't thought beyond it being better that she was gone. Realizing just how closely her disappearance mirrored Taylors, she felt physically ill.

"We're both sorry…" Kurt smiled without humor, "We're always both sorry."

Jane closed her eyes so she wouldn't have to see the accusation in his.

Kurt was frustrated, but seeing her emotional struggle wasn't something he could simply watch.

When she opened her eyes she was surprised to see him waiting, his hand outstretched for hers. She looked up in surprise, but couldn't read anything from his expression.

She took his hand and he pulled her up next to him, but he didn't release her. She left the plane with Kurt's hand securely holding her own. She didn't know what made him do it, but she couldn't deny the comfort the gesture gave her. She needed him so much…she _always_ needed him…and for this moment at least, he seemed to need her too.

They checked into the hotel and Kurt insisted on a single room. Jane didn't know if it was for security reasons, or because he didn't trust her not to run. She didn't want to know and he didn't volunteer the information.

"They're sending up a doctor," Kurt told her watching her look out the window and down on the canal.

"I'll get showered," Jane suggested looking over her shoulder.

He wanted to offer to join her, but that's not where they were. Realistically he realized that they might never be there again. He pushed that thought aside. He would not give up on them.

"I'll go after you," He relented.

She took her bag in with her and just that quickly any sign that she was back with him was gone. It made him restless. He hovered by the door needing to hear the sound of the water splashing to assure himself that she was still with him. This hadn't been just another false trail, he had her back and he wasn't letting her get away from him again.

Needing a distraction he picked up the hotel menu and decided to order them some food. He knew what she liked so he placed the order.

Jane came out of the bathroom and before he could go in, there was a knock at the door.

Expecting it to be either the doctor or room service, Kurt pulled it open. Nobody was there, but a package had been placed on the ground in front of the door.

He looked over his shoulder at Jane, before looking up and down the hall suspiciously.

"I don't think you should touch it," Jane said moving over to join him in the doorway.

Kurt placed a protective arm in front of her to keep her from direct access to the package.

"Move back," He warned her.

Just then the package began to ring.

They shared a look before Kurt reached for it. Tearing it open he found a cell phone.

"Hello?" He answered.

"Let me speak to Jane," An all too familiar voice told him.

Kurt's eyes flew to Jane's in shock.

"Who is it?" She worried.

He held the phone out to her and told her, "It's Roman."

Jane's gasp said it all. She reached for the phone with a trembling hand.

"Hello?"

"I thought you were dead," Roman said bluntly, "What's going on?"

"Where are you?" Jane demanded instead of answering.

"Closer than you think," Roman admitted, "Now answer the question."

"Did you take the team?" Jane demanded.

"Did you _leave_ Weller?" Roman countered.

They were quickly getting nowhere.

"How did you know where we were?" Jane demanded.

"I've been following Weller," Roman finally realized that if one of them didn't start answering the questions, neither of them would get the answers they needed.

"Why?" Jane demanded.

"I thought you were dead," Roman admitted.

"Did you abduct the team?" Jane demanded.

"They're missing?" Roman verified.

"So you don't have them?" Jane insisted.

"No," Roman denied.

"Has anyone else been trailing Weller?" Jane demanded.

"You aren't going to explain where you've been…or why, are you?" Roman finally asked bluntly.

"Come in…and I'll tell you," Jane told him.

"No chance," Roman laughed without humor.

"Roman…" Jane implored.

"This isn't getting us anywhere," Roman realized, "Keep the phone. I'll be in touch."

He hung up without another word.

"What'd he say?" Kurt demanded.

"He said he didn't take the team…he wanted to know what was going on." Jane explained.

"How'd he know where we were?"

"He was following you," Jane explained, her concern at that development obvious.

There was another knock on the door and when Kurt opened it this time, there was an older gentleman holding a bag. It was the doctor.

He came in and began to question Jane. Kurt knew he should give them some privacy, but he didn't. He stood protectively by Jane while the doctor checked her over. She blushed at the blunt questions he asked her, but answered them all. Once he had completed his examination he advised her she needed to eat more and try and get some rest. She immediately agreed, glad that the exam was over.

Kurt allowed the doctor to look him over next. Jane was surprised, but secretly relieved. He received her same diagnosis.

As they were opening the door to see the doctor out, they were greeted with room service.

"Good," The doctor noted in satisfaction as the food was brought in and placed on the small table.

The smell that waffled from the covered domes was mouthwatering.

Kurt looked over at Jane once they were alone.

"You need to eat," Kurt insisted, his eyes going over the robe Jane was wearing.

"Do you want to shower first?" Jane worried.

"No," Kurt denied, "Let's eat while it's hot."

Jane removed the dome and her stomach growled when she saw what Kurt had ordered for her.

He heard the sound and looked up at her with a little smile.

She forgot about the food.

"Eat," He insisted, snapping her back to the task at hand.

She sat down and started eating. It was wonderful, but after months of all but fasting, she was done too soon.

"You need to eat more," He insisted when he saw she was just holding her fork.

"I can't eat any more," Jane admitted.

That told him a lot about her last few months.

"Is this the first time you've heard from Roman?" Kurt asked her.

"Yes," Jane admitted, "Not since that day in Washington."

"He knew you were missing," Kurt worried.

"He must have been watching us," Jane realized.

"Or had someone watching us," Kurt suggested.

"If he didn't take the team…" Jane worried, "Who did?"

"I don't know," Kurt admitted.

"You don't think…" Jane trailed off.

"No," Kurt didn't need her to finish her question.

"How long have they been missing?" Jane worried.

"Almost two weeks," Kurt admitted.

"Did they all disappear at the same time?" Jane demanded, "Were they on a mission?"

"They all disappeared the same night," Kurt explained, "But they weren't together. They were each taken from different locations."

"Maybe it was a case they were working on…"

"Not likely," Kurt denied, "Tasha decided to leave and work at the CIA."  
"WHAT!" Jane couldn't have been any more shocked.

"I guess you could say I wasn't exactly…the boss she depended on after you left. She didn't think I had the team's best interest in mind."

"That's crazy," Jane was offended for him. He always put the team first.

"She was right," Kurt admitted, "I didn't care about anything but finding you."

"Kurt…" Jane didn't even know what to say.

"Its fine," Kurt brushed it all aside, "Reade and Patterson were taken from their homes…Tasha the CIA parking lot."

"So that means it must be a group and not a single person," Jane suggested, "Do you think…these new tattoos might tell us where they are?"

"I'm hoping so," Kurt finished eating and put down his fork.

"Did you want to…look?" Jane knew she was blushing…but although Kurt had already seen everything, it was different now. She was different and so was their relationship.

Kurt listened to Jane's offer and the answer was undoubtedly yes, but not for the reasons she thought. He hated that there was any part of her that he didn't know intimately. He wanted to strip that robe off her and spend the rest of the night studying her body for any and all changes. He knew he bore a large responsibility for them being in this situation, but he had an overwhelming need to bulldoze through all of her defenses and reclaim her gentle heart. The more she tried to distance herself from him, the more he wanted to tie himself to every part of her. His predator nature was stirred and he wouldn't stop until he took back what he knew in his heart was his…just like he was hers. He just needed to convince her of that.

"Yes," Kurt agreed casually, as though his heart wasn't racing, "I'll grab a shower first."

Jane watched him go, her face still flushed. How was she going to do this? Just the thought of exposing herself so completely to Kurt made her worry just how much of her heart she would unwittingly give away. He knew her better than anyone. He was going to take one look at her reaction to him and know that she still loved him. She still wanted him, but she still couldn't be with him. It was too dangerous.

Kurt closed the bathroom door and attempted to get his body back under control. The second she'd offered to let him study her new tattoos, he'd gotten hard. The thought of finally having access to her again, for any reason, was making his hands tremble and his brow sweat.

He turned the water on cold and stepped underneath the spray. It didn't help. His body had been denied its favorite place for too long. All he wanted to do was pull her so tightly around him that not even air could ever come between them again. If it had just been physical, he wouldn't have tried to deny himself, but he didn't just want her…he loved her and she wasn't ready.

Fifteen minutes later he gave up on anything but Jane helping to alleviate his condition. His body knew what it wanted and his heart was fully on board. His head wasn't going to let either of those things come between him and his ultimate goal which was winning her love back. With that thought in mind, he dried off and prepared himself to taper down the need so that he could do what had to be done.

Jane was standing at the window looking down at the canal when the bathroom door opened. She turned to see Kurt emerge and wanted to groan at how he looked. He'd forgone the hotel robe and gotten dressed. She was grateful, but the smell of him freshly showered was like an aphrodisiac and her body responded accordingly.

"Ready?" Kurt asked her, his expression intent.

 _No…_ Jane realized abruptly.

She turned back and closed the shutters on the window. Not only did that give them privacy, but the room became darker. That would help in two ways. He would be able to see the tattoos better…and she could hopefully hide her unwitting reaction to his proximity.

"Ready," She said huskily.

Just that quickly, Kurt doubted his restraint.

He was the one that turned off the lamp.

Jane walked over and together they opened the box, the metal disk waited on them. Once they had it out, Jane placed the box back on the table and took a deep breath. With a trembling hand she untied the robe and let it fall to the floor. With her back to him, she didn't see the way his eyes traced his name across her back before following the ink down to take in her naked form. She didn't see the way his jaw clenched and his hand trembled. Didn't see that his body was raging or realize that his heart was loud in his ears.

She could feel his eyes and her nipples peaked and her womb clenched. Taking a deep breath she turned toward him and waited.

All the lectures he'd given himself in the bathroom faded away. All the reasons this was a bad idea no longer mattered. His _wife_ stood before him after months of fearing she was dead…naked.

He let the metal disk fall to the floor and was across the room in two long strides. Her gasp was swallowed by his mouth. Lifting her up, he turned toward the bed. The conflagration that followed was unlike anything they'd ever shared before. They'd made love countless times. Wild, sexy…sweet, but this was desperation and complete loss of control. This was…everything.

Jane felt Kurt's mouth ravishing her senses… even his hands griped her tightly, holding her against him. Her body shuddered at the intimate contact and her hands griped his hair as his mouth fed on her. She bit his shoulder as his hand found the heart of her and it was as if she'd unleashed him with her actions. The out of control man became almost dominant and his control of her body and her senses was absolute.

She relished the ability to touch him again and her hands ran over him desperately. No part of him was off limits and she didn't hesitate. When she took him intimately into her grasp he groaned and jerked. The heat and feel of him was intoxicating. He pulled her hand away and pined them both to the bed. She looked up at him in protest to find him watching her intently, his expression scorching.

Neither of them said a word, but they both held each other's eyes as he slowly pushed his way home. Once he was satisfied that nothing was between them, he stopped. She groaned softly and twisted desperately, needed more, needing him. He held her steady.

"Kurt," Jane moaned in protest.

"What do you need?" He demanded, wanting to hear her say it…needing to hear her say it.

"You," Jane all but sobbed.

His eyes closed in relief even as his body picked up a punishing rhythm.

She came immediately and he rode her threw it. She was out of control, but he knew undoubtedly he was as well. When she came for the second time, he joined her. Even as his limbs trembled and his heart raced, he didn't stop. He couldn't stop. He felt the need begin to build even as his body rejoiced in the satisfaction that had been too long denied.

"Kurt," Jane panted, breathless.

Concerned that he was hurting her, he pulled out. Even as she was protesting his loss, he turned her on her side and slid in from behind her. She gasped as it allowed him deeper access. His arms came around her and his hips hammered into her endlessly. He didn't know how long it lasted only that he never wanted it to end.

When the knife edge of urgency had been dulled, he kissed her shoulder tenderly and reluctantly withdrew before lying on his back. He took the time to arrange her on top of him, his arms running up and down her back and over her hips. Physical satisfaction beyond doubt, but emotionally he was far from done. He'd reclaimed her body, but he wanted her heart.

What in the hell had just happened? He'd left the bathroom determined to give her the time she needed, but instead he'd all but attacked her. Feeling the boneless way she was draped across him, he had to acknowledge that she hadn't exactly been reluctant. In fact her eager participation is what took away his last ounce of control.

Jane's body was humming. Kurt had always been her weakness and her strength. He'd believed in her when she hadn't believed in herself. It was the loss of that belief that had shaken her foundation. Without his absolute certainty in her she'd immediately began to drift.

She'd needed him to the point of obsession, but even having satisfied that desperation, she knew nothing had really changed. She was still not good for him. He might have made room for the baggage she carried, but was it really fair for her to hoist it on him?

He knew the second realization hit her. She stiffened inside his embrace and it made him immediately want to break through her barriers again.

"We shouldn't have…" She worried.

"There was no way I was going to be able to be close to you…look at you and not need to hold you. Touch you…" Kurt told her what he had finally realized.

"It doesn't solve anything," Jane insisted.

"It makes me happy," Kurt finally said simply.

She looked up into his face and could read the truth.

"It makes me happy too," Jane couldn't let his admission not be met with a truth of her own.

His arms tightened around her and he kissed her forehead.

"Then we won't regret it," He insisted.

"I'm afraid," It was Jane's turn to confess.

"I've got you," Kurt assured her. Jane, the strongest woman he'd ever met admitting her fear, did something to him. Made him feel protective…made him determined to shield her.

Jane closed her eyes and savored Kurt's embrace but her thoughts were chaotic… _But what happens next time you don't want me?_ Jane worried… _How do I survive that_?


	4. Chapter 4

I don't own Blindspot or any of these amazing characters…

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When they finally arrived back in New York, Hirst immediate claimed Jane for debriefing.

Kurt wanted to join them, but the Director had been adamant.

Kurt spent the time that Jane was away from him, checking in with Stewart and getting updated on the case status.

When he was all caught up, Jane still hadn't returned and he was beginning to worry.

After three hours he restlessly began to search for them.

After five hours he began to fear he'd lost her again.

Six hours later when they finally returned, it took everything in him not to scream at the Director and pull Jane into his arms in relief.

"Where have you been?" Kurt demanded a tick in his cheek.

"We couldn't just let her walk back in here like nothing happened," The Director denied, "We needed to be sure."

"Jane?" Kurt worried, seeing how pale she was.

"They took me to Nas," Jane admitted.

"That machine…it uses radioactive dye," Kurt gave up on maintaining boundaries and pulled Jane against him protectively.

"It had to be done," Hirst insisted.

"And are you now?" Kurt demanded.

"We are," The Director confirmed. "We need to get the new tattoos archived."

Kurt didn't say anything, but his arms around Jane tightened.

"I can take it from here," Kurt said with a hard voice.

Hirst didn't protest, but turned to walk away, calling over her shoulder, "Keep me informed."

Once she was gone, Kurt looked down at Jane in concern.

"Are you okay?" He worried.

"I'm tire," Jane admitted with a shaky smile, "But she's right…we need to get the tattoos archived."

"It can wait until tomorrow," Kurt assured her, "You haven't even been home yet."

Jane hadn't thought she would be staying with him…she'd just assumed that they would provide her another safe house.

"Kurt…" She worried.

"You look exhausted," He insisted, not realizing she was concerned about going home.

"We have to scan them." Jane insisted, "If something were to happen…"

"Nothing's going to happen," Kurt insisted his arms tightening around her.

"You don't know that," She denied, "I'm sure Stuart is ready to get started on decoding."

Kurt knew that was true.

"Fine," He reluctantly agreed, "But this time I'm going with you."

Hirst's actions had done nothing to assist Kurt with his wildly surging emotions. It'd only made him more determined to keep her with him at all times.

Jane wasn't looking forward to the scan. Patterson had been so kind the last time. Without her…this would probably be very awkward, especially if Kurt insisted on hovering over the procedure.

Jane walked into Patterson's lab and looked around sadly. They team wasn't here…Patterson wasn't here…and all of it was undoubtedly her fault. She should have been here, she didn't know if it would have made any difference, but the guilt still ate at her.

"Jane!" Stewart rushed over to greet her.

She gave him a hug and stepped back.

"You ready?" Kurt demanded.

"Yes," Stewart assured him.

Jane refused to be embarrassed. The scan went without a hitch, but it took longer, because every time the key was removed from her neck, the tattoos immediately began fading. Stewart finally devised a way to keep the key in the pictures without her having to hold it. Finally it was done.

Jane pulled on the hospital gown Kurt held out for her gratefully.

"Go get changed," Kurt urged her, "I'll get with Stewart and then we can go home."

Jane probably should have protested right then, but she didn't exactly want to have this conversation standing mostly naked in the NYO, so she just nodded and moved back to the locker room to get dressed.

"Did you get it?" Kurt worried.

"Yeah," Stewart agreed studying the screen, "Too bad they didn't use this type of technology last time…she could have led a relatively normal life."

"She's beautiful," Kurt insisted.

Stewart looked at him in consternation, "I wasn't implying…I mean…she's obviously beautiful…it's just…I know it's hard on her being stared at all the time."

"I know what you mean," Kurt regretted his outburst.

"Keep this under wraps," Kurt insisted, "I'm taking Jane home. She's exhausted."

Stewart watched Weller go with a troubled frown. It was starting all over again…

Jane was pulling on her shoes when the door opened and Kurt came in.

"You ready?" He looked down at the top of her head.

"Kurt," Jane began, now that she was dressed she decided to just bite the bullet, "Maybe staying at your place isn't the best idea."

"It's our place," Kurt insisted immediately.

"We're divorced…" Jane said painfully, "Nobody is going to expect you to share your apartment with your ex-wife."

"Well," Kurt knew he couldn't put it off any longer, "Since I never signed the papers…we're still married."

"What?" Jane looked up at him in stunned disbelief.

He pulled her up and began to lead her from the office.

"You heard me," Kurt looked down into her pale features, "We're still married."

"Why?" Jane couldn't imagine that reality.

"Because I refuse to give up on you…on us," Kurt explained.

"You wanted me to go," Jane reminded him.

"I wanted you to go home…" Kurt argued, "Not Nepal."

"Kurt…" Jane protested.

"I was tired and worried. I hadn't slept, I hadn't eaten, I was out of line. That didn't mean I never wanted to see you again. I just needed a moment to regroup." Kurt explained.

"Well," Jane insisted, "For all I knew…we were over."

"I expected something bad to happen and you expected me to turn against you." Kurt said bluntly.

"That's exactly what happened," Jane reminded him.

"No," Kurt denied, "Roman didn't do anything and I just needed a minute. Not a lifetime."

"Kurt…" Jane protested.

"Jane," Kurt looked down into her eyes seriously, "I could never have found you and I still couldn't have moved on. I would never stop looking for you. If you know nothing else about me, you have to know that."

"I'm not a lost child," Jane reminded him…"I'm not Taylor."

"I _know_ that," Kurt all but growled, "You're Jane… _Jane_ _Weller, my wife_. How could you _ever_ think that didn't matter?"

"Are you doing all this because you're too stubborn to give up…or because you actually want me in your life?" Jane demanded.

"Well," Kurt looked down at her, his emotions not even remotely hidden, "Since I measure the quality of my life by the time I get to spend with you…what do you think?"

"Kurt…" Jane gasped.

"We're going home…our home," Kurt insisted, claiming her hand and leading her to the SUV.

She didn't know what to say…or what to think. She loved him. It would be easy to fall back into the best thing that ever happened to her…but would that be fair to him? She knew what she'd get out of it, but all she had to offer him was more heartache and pain. Wouldn't it be selfish to take something so amazing and destroy it with all that she was lacking? She had to be strong, for him if not for her. He deserved the best that she could give him…even if that meant walking away.

Jane had fallen silent and Kurt kept glancing over at her during the trip back to their apartment. He didn't know what she was thinking, but he did know he had a long way to go to earn her love back. He just hoped he had the time he needed to prove to her their love was worth anything and everything they had to do to get it back.

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Jane stood under the shower with her eyes closed. She'd been shocked when Kurt opened the door to see that he'd replaced everything she'd store away.

She'd walked around touching pillows and photographs while he watched on in silence.

"You brought it all back up," She whispered, but he heard her.

"The same day you left," Kurt admitted.

Jane had excused herself to the bathroom to hide her reaction to that admission.

Now, standing under the spray, she searched for strength. This wasn't about her and what she wanted it was about him and what he deserved.

The shower door opened and her eyes flew open in surprised.

"Kurt…" She gasped as he pushed his way into the stall with her.

He didn't say anything. He just picked up her soap and began to wash her with it.

She responded predictably.

"I don't think…" Jane protested breathlessly.

"Don't think," Kurt agreed closing the distance between them.

And she didn't.

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Kurt looked over at Jane as they entered the building where they believed their team was being held. It was her first mission back and he would be lying if he didn't admit he was nervous. Not about her abilities or the fact that she had his back. There was nobody he trusted more. He was afraid she would get injured.

He'd just gotten her back. With the memory of life without her still fresh in his mind, he was scared.

She'd moved back into their home and back into their bed. He wasn't ashamed to admit he could get enough of her…on any level. But he still didn't know how to win back her heart. She'd left him, he would have never have had the strength to do that…he needed her too badly. So he had a long way to go to feel like he truly had her back.

They moved through the narrow halls, guns ready, clearing rooms as they went.

As they turned a corner, Kurt was confronted with a shooter. He pushed Jane back around the corner returning fire.

Jane pulled him back, only to turn and see that the hallway where they'd sought shelter was not clear.

Even as she raised her gun to fire, she knew it was going to be too late. She moved to cover Kurt even as the gunman fired. She took it in the plates.

Kurt felt the impact of Jane's body as she slammed against him. He turned and dispatched the gunman even as his eyes flew to where she lay on the ground.

"Jane!" He knelt down beside her, searching her desperately for wounds.

"I'm okay," Jane gasped, "I took it in the plates."

Seeing the way she was laying, Kurt realized that she had jumped between him and the gunman.

His wild eyes ran over her even as his desperate hands pulled her against him.

"We've got the team," They were advised over the coms.

"All of them?" Kurt demanded.

"Yes, we're heading to rendezvous," Weller was assured.

Kurt helped Jane up and retreated. They met the other Agents at the vehicles and Kurt greeted his team with hugs and then watched on with a smile as they descended on Jane enthusiastically. He insured that they were checked over by the paramedics and it was only once they were back at the NYO that he pulled her into his office and closed the door.

"What?" She asked defensively. She knew…

"You shielded me," Kurt accused her.

"What?" Jane looked away.

"You love me," He turned her face back up to his so he could see her expression.

Jane's eyes welled with tears.

"Say it," Kurt demanded with a little shake.

"You know I love you," Jane admitted with a trembling mouth.

"You left me…" Kurt reminded her, "I could never have left you."  
"You think I left you because I didn't love you?" Jane was stunned, "I left you because I love you too much. I'm not good for you…you deserved someone like Allie…"

Kurt's lips cut off whatever protest she'd been making. All the tension he'd been carrying around for so long left him with a flood of relief.

"I love you too," He assured her between kisses.

"I'm nothing but trouble," Jane worried.

"You're worth anything," Kurt insisted, "Everything. I thought you didn't love me after how stupid I'd been."

"Kurt," Jane cupped his face tenderly, "I could _never_ stop loving you. I wouldn't know how."

Kurt closed his eyes, before opening them and meeting her eyes will all the love he'd never been able to deny.

She gasped and her leaned in and claimed that gasp with his lips.

Watching them from the other side of the glass, the team shared a look.

"He found her," Tasha said with satisfaction.

"Did you ever doubt him?" Reade teased.

"Look at them," Patterson insisted, "Their life's not easy…but I'm betting on them."

Reade looked over at Tasha with a smile. "You heard her."

"I'm with Patterson," Tasha denied, "I would never bet against the two of them."

Reade looked back at the pair and couldn't have agreed more…


End file.
